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The cruelest joke imaginable.

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From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:02:39 PM | Message Detail

So here's the story. There was this ugly guy that no one liked in grades 9, 10 and 11. His nickname was Thew because there was already a Matt in the class he got put in, and Thew sounded funny at the time. Soon, everyone knew him only by Thew, even the teachers. We think Thew is now being homeschooled because we haven't seen him in school for months.

Anyway, he "went out" with an even uglier annoying stupid girl we will call "Bonnie". Her real name is Bonnie too but I don't care. Something horrible happened and they broke up soon after.

Then, one of my friends had this ingenious idea. He created an e-mail address under the name Thew. He then somehow found Bonnie's e-mail and started e-mailing her telling her that he still liked her and such. WE WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THE RESPONSES SHE SENT THE PERSON SHE THOUGHT WAS THEW. Here are some of the 41 she sent:

well yeah whatever. things happen! today was so much fun! we should do something soon? so yea i want it but i dont know. u know what im talkin about! well we should go swimming sometime and u should strip in front of me and if i feel like it u might get luckey if u know what i mean! well we should also play truth or dare! well i got 2 go! write back Bonnie

From: vascoguy13 | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:03:56 PM | Message Detail

O_O

*faints*
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Houston Texans Record 3-8. Last Game Texans 16 Giants 14 :)
I'm only sig searching not soul searching folks ;)

From: tailwind | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:04:09 PM | Message Detail

Lame.

From: greggreggreg2000 | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:04:17 PM | Message Detail

[This message was deleted at the request of the original poster]

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:04:23 PM | Message Detail

i just thought i'd email you again!!!! i just wanted to say that i need you in my life!!!!!!!! i need to be with you. i want you. i really like you!!! im serious!!!!!!!!you know those songs that you said that said how you feel about me well ive never heard of those songs. well the song that i would dedicate to you would be "have you ever" by S club 7. i think thats the name of the song!!I wish that we could be together again!!!!!!!! i just wish that i hadnt broke up with you!!but i guess **** happens and i made a big mistake that i cant fix!!!!!!!! i wrote a poem about how i feel about you! i wrote it when i first started to like you. to tell you the truth i think that we are meant to be together!!!! what do you think? i need to know what you think!!!! i dont want to make another mistake that i could end up regreting for the rest of my life!!! I've been thinking of you a lot lately!! have you been thinking about me a lot lately???? i dont really know what else to say!!! i miss you and i really want you back!! i will do anything to get you back!!! and i mean anything!!!!
i just wish that i was with you right now!!! do you want me back??? i need to know!! cause if you dont want me back then ill have to move on! to tell you the truth the only reason that i broke up with you was cause darren told me that he hated me and i took that really hard. i didnt want to do anything anymore.well and i also broke up with you cause you called me a slut and a whore. if i say **** like that to you again dont just leave me alone talk to me cause thats what i need. i need someone to talk to.i never mean the stuff i say to people. its just my way of letting my anger out. im trying to stop it and its really hard!! i really need to talk to you face to face!!! when do u get your lisence? come on your computer every day cause i email people every day!! so be on every day!! call me at 875-0348 so we can plan a day so we can talk face to face. well i should go now. write back!! BONNIE

ok well i love you too. and i know we are meant to be together.
what do u want me to do? i need to talk to you face to face!!! soon!!
we need to talk about things!!! if its nude pics you want of me forget it! i wont let anyone see nude pics of me!! i dont really like my body so yea. maybe we should go swimming sometime!i want to marrie you thats how much i love you!!! i sorta want to have sex with you cause you dont know what its like and i wont be so nervous and i trust you. well call me at 875-0348. come on everyday so we can talk everyday!! i have to prove to you that i love you and i will prove it. i will do just about anything to be with you. even if we dont end up together i will always love you!!! i hope you feel the same!!!i want to spend the rest of my life with you your mine and no one elses!!! we will be together. we are meant for each other!!! thats all i have to say for now. ill have a lot more to say when we talk face to face. well i gots 2 go!!! write back!!!!! Bonnie

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:05:33 PM | Message Detail

hi,
i will not send you pics of me. why dont you believe me. i love you!!
i really want to marry you!! if you asked me to marry you i would say yes!!! i hope you ask me to marry you. i love you and always will!!
i dont think i would have sex with you until you ask me to marry you and i want a ring to prove your love fore me is doesnt have to cost a lot!! i dont care about money!!! i hope that you'll make me the happyest girl alive!!!!!:) we need to talk face to face soon!!!! when can we talk????? well i gots to go!w/b Bonnie

matt
i need to talk to you so bad. i miss you so much! i love you! i need to talk to you face to face soon. whats your phone #? we should get back together soon! do u still want to marry me? i want to marry you!write back I LOVE U
Bonnie

From: chaos knight | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:05:56 PM | Message Detail

Well, I'm scarred for life now.
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Chaos Knight-Cerebral Insomniac of the CoS
http://dynamic5.gamespy.com/~pe2/phpBB2/index.php (new ragol.com PSO board)

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:06:38 PM | Message Detail

It's funny because they're both ASS UGLY.

From: greggreggreg2000 | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:06:48 PM | Message Detail

It's official. TimeBomb is going to Hell.

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That's exactly what "Signs" is like: the camera man zooming up on some guy's ass for two hours.

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:07:17 PM | Message Detail

I didn't do it though! I just found it funny.

From: DTaeKim | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:07:17 PM | Message Detail

Good God...
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...A sealed up secret.....wish.....tender memories.....no one can ever know.......

From: Igtenos | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:09:05 PM | Message Detail

You know, this is going to end in someone getting hurt really, really badly.

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..it shows me the news tab which "can't connect" because my computer is "fricken stupid" -TimeBomb

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:10:03 PM | Message Detail

That's what we're shootin' for.

From: NarDmw | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:10:31 PM | Message Detail

*VOMITS all OVER topic*
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The following people are edible.

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:11:13 PM | Message Detail

*RANDOMLY capitalizes SOME words*

From: Iucky pierre 5604 | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:11:20 PM | Message Detail

Clearly, Timebomb hasn't seen/read Carrie.
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User no. 5604
Me>Kiduo>j00

From: greggreggreg2000 | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:11:39 PM | Message Detail

That is pathetic. Just because you think they're ugly doesn't mean they aren't human beings and don't have their own emotions.

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That's exactly what "Signs" is like: the camera man zooming up on some guy's ass for two hours.

From: CronoGamer | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:13:01 PM | Message Detail

I feel like her gross overuse of punctuation nearly merits this treatment.

I also think the best way to end this is similar to how Bart ended the love letter "relationship" with Mrs. Krabapple. Pretend Thew got drafted, or something. Maybe incite an argument, and then end it with "I'm gonna go enlist", and never email her again.
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CronoGamer- Shaken, not stirred.

From: Useful Idiot | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:13:13 PM | Message Detail

*agrees with Ignetos*
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"Can you open my milk mommy?"

From: NarDmw | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:13:38 PM | Message Detail

Well capitalizing CERTAIN words gives EMPHASIS on the SENTENCE... MAN.

And I'll have to agree with greg.
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The following people are edible.

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:14:10 PM | Message Detail

Actually, I read/watched Carrie.

But Bonnie kinda deserves it. Whenever she thinks someone was making fun of her, she goes and tells the goddamn office. Then the office calls everyone she names down to the office and we have to make them believe we didn't say anything.

THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME OVER FIVE TIMES. I don't even make fun of her when she's around! She just does that because she's an ANNOYING *****.

And she dresses like she's hot! She wears those low, tight jeans and her hairy asscrack is always hanging out! And it really is hairy!

From: CronoGamer | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:15:30 PM | Message Detail

I bet she'd be really hot if you gave her a makeover. Haven't you ever seen all those stupid teen chick flick movies? "She's all that", or something, right?
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CronoGamer- Shaken, not stirred.

From: NarDmw | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:15:48 PM | Message Detail

o_O

*VOMITS... AGAIN*
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The following people are edible.

From: l3emani Dragon | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:17:28 PM | Message Detail

There's an even worse "prank" I heard about. Ahem...

There was a guy that was in a war away from his wife (I forgot which war...). His wife sent him a care package with cookies and a video. When he ate the cookies, he shared them with his friends and watched the video with them. She was showing him around the house saying how she missed him and stuff. Then as it faded out, it went to a clip of her blowing this guy and then spitting his man-juice into the cookie batter, then saying, "By the way, I want a divorce."

Enjoy.
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Pinoy Clan Ninja Panda
Formerly the Bemani Dragon.

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:18:14 PM | Message Detail

And Thew was caught masturbating TWICE in the school. Once on a goddamn exercise bike, and once in a classroom he thought would be empty for an hour or something. And he picks his nose and eats it.

Haha...this other time my other friend rammed Thew's head into one of the windows in the school and his head broke the class. I couldn't stop laughing for 15 minutes. I actually was late for class because of it.

They were actually just messing around, and Thew forgived the guy later for ramming his head.

From: HHH RULES | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:18:47 PM | Message Detail

Basically, the whole reason you're doing this is because they are ugly and no one likes them, but it's okay because they are, again, ugly, and because she doesn't like to be made fun of? Real mature.

From: l3emani Dragon | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:19:02 PM | Message Detail

By the way she types, I'd assume she's 11. You know, with all the "!!!!!!" and stuff.
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Pinoy Clan Ninja Panda
Formerly the Bemani Dragon.

From: NarDmw | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:19:38 PM | Message Detail

I thought that send off care package was an internet joke.
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The following people are edible.

From: Peter Griffin | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:22:43 PM | Message Detail

Wow, you're such a cool ****ing guy. Lemme know how it goes when Thew can't take unrelenting torture from his classmates anymore and shoots up your school.
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<[j0n0]> games dont make people violent, lag does.
Master and Overlord of s3 because I called it.

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:25:03 PM | Message Detail

I will! They'd probably do it together because they're both stupid.

From: CronoGamer | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:25:56 PM | Message Detail

That thing about the cookie batter sounds like Van Wilder...

And the thing about him ramming his head and breaking the glass made me burst out laughing in a most undignified manner.
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CronoGamer- Shaken, not stirred.

From: gnomes | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:28:28 PM | Message Detail

I gotta agree with Greg.
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Image Editing and Graphical Design board, Sign here:
s1.cgi.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.asp?board=7&topic=3906897 PS: Roxio is evil!

From: TimeBomb | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:29:18 PM | Message Detail

I agree with greg, also.

From: FreakishAndUnnatural | Posted: 11/24/2002 10:32:19 PM | Message Detail

I think this whole thing is just ...
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-=Freakish and Unnatural=-

From: kleval | Posted: 11/25/2002 6:21:38 AM | Message Detail

Evil