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I saved the life of his cat, and THAT's how he thanks me?
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From: janaiji | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:01:44 PM | Mark for Moderation
My friend's cat was pretty sick recently. You could see him sitting in a corner all day long moaning in pain without being able to move. As soom as someone touched him to pick him up, you had the impression some guy just stepped on his tail. It was terrible to see him like that.

So when I went to his house two days ago, I figured I'd try to see if there was something I could do for the poor cat. The cat has been staying in the same corner for almost a week!

So I tried to pick him up, but his hurls of pain frozen me. Anyways, I managed to push him out of the corner and boy did that cat look like he was suffering.

I then realized something. He shrieked in pain whenever I touched his belly area. That, and thinking that he was staying there for so long made me think about a possible cause for this... constipation!

What I did was to take a bit of water and vaseline. I dipped my little finger in the vaseline and then started caressing the cat's butt and eventually pouring my finger inside in a back and forth motion. The cat didn't like it, it was obvious. But anyways, I tried a bit with water, then vaseline again. A few minutes later, the cat managed to dip out a big, smelly, disgusting poop yelling shrieking like a tortured prisoner in the process. After that, he seemed much better. When evening came around (maybe say... three or four hours after the big poop), he looked pretty healthy and was walking freely around the house.

Anyways, after dinner that evening the whole family was talking about the cat and his huge poop and wondering what was going on with him. So I told them about what happened and how I managed to "cure" him.

Their thought I was joking at first, but when they realized I was serious they told me I was a sick **** and forced me out of the house. Geez, thanks for saving the cat man! Now get out of here! What kind of ****ty attitude is that?
From: chickenboy | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:03:08 PM | Mark for Moderation
.....

Have you heard of a vet? or is fingering a cats arse one of your pastimes?
From: jesterguy | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:03:38 PM | Mark for Moderation
thats pretty disgusting...
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From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:03:58 PM | Mark for Moderation
i really have no opinion about this...

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From: DJosef | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:04:14 PM | Mark for Moderation
That's pretty sick, aren't there alternate, less disgusting ways of clearing out his colon?
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From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:04:23 PM | Mark for Moderation
I would guess it is the "fingering my cat" part that they didn't like.
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From: Twisted Silence | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:05:09 PM | Mark for Moderation
You have GOT to be kidding me.

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From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:05:59 PM | Mark for Moderation
let's say you had some kind of stomach ache and then a big cat came and did 'something' to your butt... would your parents be happy?
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From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:06:49 PM | Mark for Moderation
oh well... let's just say you shouldn't have dropped a word about it...
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From: Claw Redek | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:07:08 PM | Mark for Moderation
O_O
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From: wasabi2005 | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:07:10 PM | Mark for Moderation
So How Did It feel..

Fingering a cat
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From: tailwind | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:07:21 PM | Mark for Moderation
You could've used a Q-Tip or somethin'.

Or better yet, told them what you thought was wrong, and called a damn vet.
From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:07:35 PM | Mark for Moderation
Exactly.

Did you at least wash your hand?
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
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From: KatThePoet | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:08:51 PM | Mark for Moderation
Greetings...

*shudders*

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From: janaiji | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:11:19 PM | Mark for Moderation
Well I didn't really "wash my hands" with soap and everything but I had a bit of water with me so just pouring my finger in the water and drying it on my jeans pretty much cleaned the "stuff" out of it.
From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:11:50 PM | Mark for Moderation
That is messed up man.
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
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From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:12:27 PM | Mark for Moderation
Dude, you ATE without washing your hands after doing that...
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
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From: janaiji | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:13:55 PM | Mark for Moderation
Yes, but we had soup so I didn't really touch the food with my finger (it wasn't dirty anymore, it just smelled a bit).

Anyways I hold the spoon in my right hand and that was my left hand so it really didn't matter much.
From: innuendo | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:14:56 PM | Mark for Moderation
::notices everyone looking at him::

what!?!
From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:15:32 PM | Mark for Moderation
You definately need to wash your hands after all intraanus contact with anything.
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
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From: Punkguy856 | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:15:47 PM | Mark for Moderation
You're sick.
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From: Twisted Silence | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:16:35 PM | Mark for Moderation
I hope this guy is lying.

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From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:17:30 PM | Mark for Moderation
Curiosity kills the cat.
And a human finger in the anus cures it.
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From: Enygmatic | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:17:49 PM | Mark for Moderation
I think, were I the cat, I'd have rather stayed in my corner.
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From: KatThePoet | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:18:52 PM | Mark for Moderation
Greetings...

Agreed.

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From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:19:32 PM | Mark for Moderation
Just give me a magazine and my poop box. I'll figure something out.
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:20:01 PM | Mark for Moderation
did you somehow analyze the piece of poop?
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From: Flip Mode | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:21:32 PM | Mark for Moderation

I agree with Twisted Silence.
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From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:22:30 PM | Mark for Moderation
I would say his reputation is pretty much shattered here.

Cut your losses and make a new account man.
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
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From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:23:05 PM | Mark for Moderation
i like him
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From: janaiji | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:24:10 PM | Mark for Moderation
The thing that you guys don't seem to understand is that the cat would have DIED if I hadn't done that.

Obviously it wasn't any pleasant to do that but geez, you have to feel sorry for the little guy suffering like that
From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:25:15 PM | Mark for Moderation
He might not have died, he might have had a massive bowel movement later on.
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:25:41 PM | Mark for Moderation
you should have rammed something else than your finger up the cat's owners butt for not bringing it to a vet.
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From: Enygmatic | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:25:59 PM | Mark for Moderation
I think, were I the cat, I would've taken that chance.
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From: Flip Mode | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:26:20 PM | Mark for Moderation

Well your username is 'ass', I guess you are entitled to like things like that. As for what Acid Rain was suggesting, do it man. Start a new account so we don't know who you are. Who cares if the cat would've died? Cats suck anyway.
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If I don't survive, who will mourn?
From: Flip Mode | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:27:14 PM | Mark for Moderation

Oh yeah, change cat to housecat, tigers and their order are cool.
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If I don't survive, who will mourn?
From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:28:10 PM | Mark for Moderation
this is one of the most interesting topics CE has seen in a while IMO.
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From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:29:56 PM | Mark for Moderation
Almost as interesting about the kid who was bragging about getting head from his sister.
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
From: Punkguy856 | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:32:19 PM | Mark for Moderation
Acid Rain, I remember that topic. lol
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From: JesusChristSuperstar | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:34:01 PM | Mark for Moderation
Oh yah why should they be mad. You anally violate mtheir cat, get **** on the carpet, then finally don't even wash your hands?
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From: Bloomin | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:35:00 PM | Mark for Moderation
LMAO thats pretty funny!
From: Forest Mercenary | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:47:49 PM | Mark for Moderation

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"I dipped my little finger in the vaseline and then started caressing the cat's butt and eventually pouring my finger inside in a back and forth motion."~janaiji
From: Acid Rain | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:48:20 PM | Mark for Moderation
Damn. I lost my sig status to a cat fingerer.
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Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
From: Punkguy856 | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:49:26 PM | Mark for Moderation
Nastiest. Sig. Ever.
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"Back I burn a fire to stay cool
I burn myself, I' am the fuel."
-Fugazi
From: mkn | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:50:54 PM | Mark for Moderation
Hahahaha...
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From: ass | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:55:25 PM | Mark for Moderation
janaiji, i shalt grant you thy title 'cat sex-toy' </Forest Mercenary>
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From: CVagts | Posted: 11/23/2001 1:59:51 PM | Mark for Moderation
You, my friend, have testicular fortitude.
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From: Impressario | Posted: 11/23/2001 2:01:06 PM | Mark for Moderation
M-Master...

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From: Forest Mercenary | Posted: 11/23/2001 2:04:22 PM | Mark for Moderation
Hahahahahahahaha...

I quoted Acid on that respond...
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I dipped my little finger in the vaseline and then started caressing the cat's butt and eventually pouring my finger inside in a back and forth motion.~janaiji
From: Johnny Knoxville | Posted: 11/23/2001 2:05:22 PM | Mark for Moderation
Um...

Damn! You stole our idea for the next show! >_<
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